Why Won’t You Just Meet Me Halfway?

Have you heard yourself ask this question, usually in frustration: Why won’t they just meet me halfway?! This often gets said when we are in a disagreement or a conflict with someone or another group and we want to make progress on an issue or mend a relationship. But, what do we really mean when we ask the question?

First of all, what is halfway? How do you know? If you imagine a road with point A and point B and you start at one point and the person you wish to persuade to meet you halfway starts at the other point, it is pretty easy to discern the halfway point. However, what if there are other roads connecting points A and B? Do you know which road you are each traveling?

In the case of a difference of views on an issue or circumstance, are you even clear on your own starting point? Have you really thought about it, clarified it for yourself or are you assuming? What about the other person (or group)? You may think you know their starting point … but do you really?

Another key question to ask yourself is, what do you mean by halfway? If there are more than one possible starting points or interpretations of starting points or if there are multiple pathways between the two, which is usually the case, then what is halfway?

More often than not what we mean when we say halfway is, here’s where I am, here is the road in front of me, meet me on my road. MY road. Not THE road. Not your road. Not some other road we may not yet have discovered. Meet me halfway on my road. Which means, come to me. Compromise something that may be important to you and meet me on my path.

meet halfway

If this trip is important, then determining starting points and the willingness to find the intersection that represents “halfway” is worth the time it takes.

What steps are you willing to take to meet the other person (or group) at some other point that may or may not be the “half way” you think you are asking? What might you need to let go of or be willing to compromise to get to this point? What curiosity are you willing to bring to your own motives and to the motives of the other person?

Worldview Intelligence offers the opportunity to discover your own starting point (or that of your organization or community) on issues that matter enough to involve other people. It invites you to imagine what the other person’s (or group’s) starting point might be and then allows you the opportunity to invite a conversation that may evoke a very different pathway than the one that is directly in front of you or the other person; a pathway that has greater potential to meet at the intersection of worldviews, where both or all views make an important contribution to solutions you may not have thought about or considered, each on your own.

Join us in Halifax on November 30, 2017 to learn more about starting points and meeting halfway.

Worldview Intelligence Expands Horizons – Jan 2017 Program Harvest

In the heart you are welcome to feel everything that you are feeling. Together, the heart created here is capable of anything”.

 

img_4241

Not just humans showed up – January 2017

January 2017 saw the launch of the first of three two-day Worldview Intelligence community programs for Itasca and Cass Counties. These programs are part of a larger project around workplace and welcoming community, intended to explore possibilities to address the growing need for workers.

The Worldview Intelligence framework was shared along with strategies for working with different perspectives. Participants entered personal and cultural worldview explorations using personal reflection, small group discussion and art.

Personal Worldview Exploration Reflections

At the end of the first day, which focused on the personal exploration, the common themes that emerged were around curiosity and how we can bring it more fully to differing worldviews, the power of stories and how they can quickly create connections between people, the importance of good questions in learning about and understanding someone else, and the possibilities that emerge when we question our own stories and the perspectives we bring.

People found themselves more curious about what connects us and what makes us different, noted that how worldview collisions are perceived was already changing, some were already feeling less likely to be a participant in any next potential conflict and that our worldview influences how we see ourselves and each other in exchanges.

LeMoine LaPointe, an elder from Rosebud Nation, offered the metaphor of ‘body as medicine bag for the soul’ and it resonated deeply with participants. The idea of impermanence was raised: impermanence of the human being but also impermanence of our worldviews because shift, change and expansion is always possible. Genuine engagement leaves people different.

The next morning, people were expressing hopefulness and optimism, expansion of horizons with a group of beautiful hearts and gratitude for the acknowledgement of issues in the community.

Cultural Worldview Exploration Reflections

img_4245

Using the Worldview Intelligence framework to spark cultural worldview explorations and art

The culture we grow up in guides our life and choices, often more significantly than we know. Culture is deeply engrained; it can be insidious, so creating the cognitive space to think about it brings it into awareness offering the opportunity to make changes if we wish. Culture does not happen in a vacuum and it is a constant force. It can be as invisible as the air we breathe and it is very difficult to disentangle personal and cultural worldviews but helpful when you can do so.

culture-drawings

“With all I know, I still don’t know if I know what to do, but I keep remembering we know together ~ which is why it is important to engage.”

 Worldview Awareness Helps Discern Starting Points

The importance of starting points – understanding our own and someone else’s – in providing new ways through conflict or conflicting points of view was noted. Starting points are influenced by reality, history, future, values, practices and knowledge. What might be true for a lot of people from the same or similar culture, might not be true for individuals from that culture ~ and that’s okay. Different is not wrong.

Any one can fall victim to their own or anothers’ judgments or assumptions. To be able to bring curiosity when that happens is a practice to be cultivated. It is easier in some situations and harder in others.

People like predictability, even when the underlying assumptions may no longer be valid. This is one of the reasons people hold tightly to their worldviews, their perspectives and decisions made along the way.

What’s Different After Two Days of Worldview Exploration?

In addition to identifying “increased personal awareness of my own worldview, the stories I tell, how I tell them and what triggers me”, participants identified immediate shifts and actions they intend to embrace. These include recognizing responsibility in stepping up rather than avoiding potential conflict, start with the positive, pause and remember someone else’s experience may be very different, step into situations where people may not share my own worldview, to be less afraid to approach someone when there is difficulty and figure out how to have that conversation, focus on reflective questions. In conflicting situations, the “truth” often lies somewhere in the middle – you are not all right or all wrong so look for where the person you are in conflict with might be right and use that as an entry way into a more helpful conversation.

img_4271

All this reflection, connection and expansion can be exhausting.